i hate this.....

no.
i didnt say no.
i grabbed the bowl and sucked in.
i held.
i blowed.
i glossed my eyes.
i didnt say no.

yes.
i said yes.
i made a line and sniffed it in.
i cried.
i stared.
i fell.
i said yes.

why.
i didnt say why.
i sat in basements and never questioned.
i laughed.
i smiled.
i cried.
i didnt say why.

help.
i cried for help.
i gave myself away in a classroom.
i didnt think.
i sat in an office.
i called my parents.
my cry for help.


okay okay.
so this is like the last one. i have a hard time putting out any other feelings then the ones from my drug use. that time period, even if it was for two months, left an extreme impression on my life. i gotta learn how to let that go.

happiness.
swirling away.
Dark.
drags,lines and cuts.
deals, ups and downs.
fights, blood and tears.
swirling down.
down.
Down.
a tap. a push. a shove.
Realization.
help.
I. Need. Help.
drags, lines and cuts.
i need help.
Guidence.
the kind from parents.
my help
my strength
my love
my parents
my Thank Yous.


okay an explantion of the poem:
back in my freshman year i got into drugs.
huffing, drinking, weed, x, lsd, acid, coke.
luckily when i got into coke the school
caught me. from the time i smoked
my first bowl to the time i got caught,
it tok two months. in two months
i was snorting coke. this is about my
hard time with drugs in a way where i
explain my emotions at the time and
how they just bursted out like in the
peom. that is why it is confusing because
at that time my life was confusing.
hope that helps you understand
why it is written that way....
:D

first version of poem.

swirling away.
Dark.
drags,lines and cuts.
deals, ups and downs.
fights, blood and tears.
smiles, dances and laughter.
swirling down.
down.
Down.
a tap. a push. a shove.
Realization.
help.
I. Need. Help.
drags, lines and cuts.
i need help.
Guidence. the kind from parents.
my help
my strength
my love
my parents
my Thank Yous.


im not sure i really like this.
i dont think the feeling is really coming across.
idk. tell me what you think.
btw this happened two years ago.

1st version of short story.

He was walking through the lonely streets of a London night. Prostitutes came up to him asking if he would like to be accompanied to the bar. He would look up from under his hair and they would walk away quickly. His dark figure scared yet attracted many people. Eyes would stare at him and look away quickly if his head even twitched. Christoph walked into the nearest tavern to what the bartender would say “wet his whistle.” He didn’t think of it like that. He saw the tavern as a place to observe the towns people in a rather oblivious state. This was also a time to feed. Feed on the energy of the bodies, on the knowledge of the heads, and the blood of life. Christoph watched a young girl around the age of 16 tending to a drunken man. He watched how she delt with the slurred lewd comments, the touching and grabbing, and the alcohol. She left the table after being harassed, and went behind the counter and poured a shot. “Just another night” she said before she poured the liquid down her throat. She set her glass down hard and made a face as if she just ate a lemon. “Do you need anything sir?” “No I’m fine, thank you.” She walked away with a loud sigh. Christoph watched her with curiosity. She walked with a certain sway that invited comments and devilish looks. Christoph wanted to know her name. He must know her name. She swayed by and he tapped her. “You need something now?” She said. “Yes, what is your name?” “Claudia, so do you need a drink?” “No, thank you. I think I’m done for the night.” Claudia stared at him in question as Christoph got up and walked away. He stepped back into the cold crisp night of London. Again prostitutes greeted him in hopes of making some money. He felt a little weery and cold so he waved to one of the girls for her to follow. They walked down a dark alley way with her pimp to follow behind. As he propped her against the wall she lifted her skirt and stared into his eyes. Christoph pulled her head back and went to kiss her neck. She closed her eyes in anticipation. Blood trickled down her neck. Her eyes wide now and her mouth open with nothing but silent screams. He was full now. Dropping her body to the floor. He stared at the young lady. Maybe she was only 18. Maybe it was best that this was her last job. He stared for a few more seconds and threw coins to the body. He walked back down the alley and the pimp approached him. “Wow you must have tired her out, she’s laying on the floor!” “Yeah, something like that I guess.” Christoph said as he walked away. 30 seconds later he heard the pimp curse and yell. Christoph fell deep into the fog of the night and wasn’t seen by the pimp ever again.

any ideas of where i should go?
how is it so far?

KEVIN.......

el toro isnt real mexican food.

the end.

55 word story.

During passing time in the hall.

“Hey Jessica!”

“Haven’t you heard the news?”

“No what’s going on? Who’s talking now?”

“Tyler cheated on me!”

“OMG!! With who?”

“With some skanky ------“

Emily comes up.

“Hey Sarah, how was your night with Tyler?”

“IT WAS YOU!?”

“uhh….. he didn’t like you anyways.”

untitled

UNTITLED

[It is 1:00 am on a Saturday night. RACHEL is standing and MALLORY is sitting on the curb on a corner of an empty street waiting for the bus to come by. MALLORY is holding her knees close to her chest while RACHEL pulls her arms in for self given hug. Both in discomfort of the presence of one another.]

RACHEL

They were right about you.

MALLORY

What are you talking about?

RACHEL

I wish they weren’t right.

MALLORY

[Starting to get frustrated.]

What the hell are you talking about?!

RACHEL

Why would you do that?

MALLORY

[Standing up fiercely.]

DO WHAT?!

RACHEL

[Throwing her arms out of her hug.]

I mean, you were getting better. Things were looking up for your future. You had a true genuine smile on your face then BAM! You were back again.

MALLORY

[Hanging her head in grief.]

You don’t understand.

RACHEL

[Saying in a sneerish voice.]

Everyone says that.

MALLORY

You really don’t get it though.

RACHEL

[spoken in almost a whiny voice.]

I watched you fall from the highest mountain, and climb up the steepest hill. And you just couldn’t make it. I believed in you so much.

MALLORY

[Still holding her head down.]

Things get hard. It just calls your name. You can’t help but to pay it another visit.

RACHEL

You can help it. And to hear you say “Everything is great! I quit and my life is back on track!” Lies.

MALLORY

[Staring at RACHEL with tears in her eyes.]

You never dealt with it before. You don’t get what is does to you.

RACHEL

I saw what it did to you. It’s still doing it to you. Why can’t you see that it is no good for you?

MALLORY

STOP JUDGING ME! I CAN KEEP IT UNDER CONTROL!

[MALLORY now sobbing in her sweater]

RACHEL

[Looking away from MALLORY]

Lying to my face again.

MALLORY

[Opening her arms.]

I thought you were there for me.

RACHEL

[Staring off into the distance.]

I was, I don’t know if I can be anymore. Your friend coke seems to be there. Why not turn to that.

MALLORY

[Falling to the ground as if she has become too weak to stand.]

Why would you say something like that? We have been friends forever. You can’t just split on me now. We have been through too much. And it’s not a problem.

RACHEL

That’s exactly it.

MALLORY

[Looking up to RACHEL]

What?

RACHEL

[Hanging her head in disappointment.]

We have been through too much. I can’t handle seeing you fall over and over again. I thought you had the strength to overcome this.

MALLORY

[Standing once again fiercely]

So what? Are you just gonna quit on me like everyone else? Just leave me here to rot and f*** up my life even more?

RACHEL

I wish I could stay here with you. But every time I try to help you push me away and-

MALLORY

[Barking at RACHEL.]

YOU JUDGE ME TOO MUCH THAT’S WHY!

RACHEL

[Looking at MALLORY with a concerned face.]

What has gotten into you? Don’t you see that I have tried to help you in so many ways and every time you just blow me off. Don’t you see that-

MALLORY

[Tears fall off her chin.]

That what? I am nothing to you now?

[MALLORY starts to walk away]

MALLORY

[Trying to talk through the tears.]

I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need anyone. I have myself and that is the best

friend I could ask for.

RACHEL

[Now walking after her.]

Please come back. I need to finish talking to you.

MALLORY

[Stammers away.]

You can finish talking to me when I’m six feet under, maybe then I wont lie to your face.

RACHEL

I love you.

[RACHEL grabs MALLOY’S arm and swings her around to see her face.]

MALLORY

[Staring in disgust.]

Hahahaha. Yea now you’re lying to my face.

RACHEL

[Screaming.]

You don’t get it, I love you. I’m here for you.

MALLORY

Oh so you can get mad at me and scream at me but when I start to walk away you all of a sudden need me? Stop playing these games.

{MALLORYS throws RACHEL’S hand off of her arm.]

RACHEL

I never said I didn’t need you.

MALLORY

Yea well it seems like you don’t.

RACHEL

What will it take to get through to you?

[MALLORY stares at RACHEL in curiosity]

RACHEL

Why are you trying to run away from this?

MALLORY

[Speaking in a soft voice.]

I’m not running away from the addiction.

RACHEL

It seems like you are.

MALLORY

I’m running away from myself.

RACHEL

Why would you run away from something beautiful?

MALLORY

I see no beauty in me.

RACHEL

[RACHEL now staring at MALLORY in sympathy.]

How could you not see it?

[pause]

RACHEL

Look at yourself.

[RACHEL points to a window on a building]

MALLORY

I see nothing but a f***** up girl who stupidly ignores the kindness of her friends.

RACHEL

I see a beautiful who has found herself lost on an unknown path.

MALLORY

Why are you so good to me?

RACHEL

I told you, I love you.

MALLORY

[Now crying with her head down]

Why would you love a mess?

RACHEL

Because that mess is my friend. That mess needs my help and I will help it.

[MALLORY now sobbing]

MALLORY

I need a lot of help.

[RACHEL now takes a few steps closer to MALLORY]

RACHEL

Please let me help you.

[MALLORY now raises her head slowly and gives RACHEL a smirk]

MALLORY

Really?

RACHEL

I’m here for you.

MALLORY

What am I gonna do know? I’m in so deep.

RACHEL

As long as you trust me, we will get through this.

MALLORY

I trust you with everything.

[MALLORY now looking at RACHEL with gleaming eyes.]

RACHEL

This is going to be hard. Harder then you think.

MALLORY

I know.

RACHEL

Please don’t give up.

MALLORY

I won’t if you won’t.

[The scene ends with RACHEL and MALLORY giving each other an unforgettable smile. RACHEL and MALLORY walk away holding hands.]