swirling away.
Dark.
drags,lines and cuts.
deals, ups and downs.
fights, blood and tears.
smiles, dances and laughter.
swirling down.
down.
Down.
a tap. a push. a shove.
Realization.
help.
I. Need. Help.
drags, lines and cuts.
i need help.
Guidence. the kind from parents.
my help
my strength
my love
my parents
my Thank Yous.
im not sure i really like this.
i dont think the feeling is really coming across.
idk. tell me what you think.
btw this happened two years ago.
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5 comments:
its good just its confusing as to what ur idea is...i do love it just show more the picture is just missing something
i really like your poem its suspenseful i hope everything is better now :)
I understand the mood of the poem but I don't completely understand what is happening.. i have an idea.. but i think you need to be a little less abstract... just a little. i like it so far tho! :D
hmmm... i agree with what the other people are saying about wording... i understand the point, its just not... crystal clear lol
i am not sure what ur poem is about...sry lucia, u might have he rabies now! lol
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